I have pushed hard in the last three days through the Rosemary Mahoney painting. I am about 60% through the initial block-in. Fortunately this block-in process is atypical in that a majority of the initial passes of painting I’m putting down will remain the final touches once the painting is complete. As I have mentioned perhaps on www.shopoilpaintings.com in my paint diary the Rosemary Mahoney painting from which I’m working through is extremely loose and spontaneous. In fact more than half the painting is fully abstract.
Making a master copy of an abstract painting would be quite a strange endeavor, especially when it is more of a lyrical, gestural abstraction and less of a hard-edged one. I am generally quite pleased with how the painting is progressing, I just happen to be hitting a wall at this exact moment. But that’s okay. I have after all probably spent about 12-15 hours on this thing just in the last 4-5 days. My body aches from standing at the easel. Between running and standing at the easel my lower body is perpetually sore and uncomfortable. It is a shame that my two primary expenditures of time work against each other in that regard. I couldn’t imagine sitting to paint however. I am a student of Robert Henri in this regard.
Tomorrow and the next day I will push through the remainder of the block-in and then let the paint simmer (and dry!) for probably about a week. I am using a foolish amount of linseed oil to give my pigments flow to replicate some of the loose brushwork of Rosemary however that means my first pass will need many days and many nights to dry before receiving more paint. It will be a productive break, I will want to step away and really revisit this thing with fresh eyes for the final passes.
If this was me a few years ago I would have high hopes and expectations for this painting. It is very good, and will be a very strong piece in my portfolio, but I must enjoy the journey of the painting and not get attached to any hypothetical outcomes that come as a result of it. The gallery (whom I will never mention by name here) tasked me with this painting almost a year ago. I would like to think that I wasnt tasked with this painting arbitrarily. I would like to think that this person has some sort of plan or vision for where this painting will live and with whom. At this point it is besides the point, what matters is I have been given a challenge I would not have been given otherwise and it will push me as a painter. And I will leave with another interesting and strong piece for my portfolio. And that is enough to fuel the trip.
It’s extremely important to me that my motivation, my north star, be something outside of competing in this game of freelance easel painting and mural painting. I will fucking hate myself, my painting and become resentful of everyone and it all if my conception of myself as an artist is that of another one of these goof balls competing in this world of freelance painting. That is not to say that I will not apply for things and apply myself as a painter. But it is not productive to see my peers and these walls as competitors and spaces of competition. I must paint first and foremost for myself and must keep my expression true. Otherwise nothing will ever happen and I will never make a great painting, the way many of these people whom I loosely refer to will never make a great painting nor ever even conceive of the goal of making a great painting.
The Rosemary painting aside, I have a lot of design work to do. I see a new arrangement of figures on my wall that necessitate a composition. However I don’t suspect they are good candidates for some of these more whitebread mural applications I need to make designs for. I am financially such that if I get one of these whitebread things I won’t need to work for the rest of the year and I can solely focus on my academic and esoteric studies as well as paint my butt off. Regardless, that’s more or less all I will do anyway.
To refer to the above point I made a special painting this year based off of relationships of paintings on my studio wall. I like the idea of these self-referential compositions that organically occur peppering my walls with whatever inspires me each month. The painting I am speaking of was a Gauguin “The Vision after the Sermon” and my painting of Jesus after a James Ensor “Man of Infinite Sorrows” painting. I believe that all the inspiration I need to make great works can be sufficiently sourced from right in my immediate surroundings (unless its plein air paintings in which case get me out of Houston asap!).
On my wall I currently have a tin or copper plate which I bought in Palestine that has an Egyptian female figure in profile on it. This currently hangs right below a framed picture I took in Mexico City of a very naively painted mural of the Virgin Mary. I have adored this image for many many years. Right now both these powerful female icons hang within the same ocular gulp.
I will paint them. I will find a way to compose them and present them for a mural and an easel work. This will be one of many paintings that happen in the coming months. I also want to paint the portrait of my Italian friend V. I currently have a prop I brought from my mom’s house that I think would A. be fun to paint and B. would suit him quite well. I say this here to keep the idea manifesting to ensure its execution.
